we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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