What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I need a burrito and a hug.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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