I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
