So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
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Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
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I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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