3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
