party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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