So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
