i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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