Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
