she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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