Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
