She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
