nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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