mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
