Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
