butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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