yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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