I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
