Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
