garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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