Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
