So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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