i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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