did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
