fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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