Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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