i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
