He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
