eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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