this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
