Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
