planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
