i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
