I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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