Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
