1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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