just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
