He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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