oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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