so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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