so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
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He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
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fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit