sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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