I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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