K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
