I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
