Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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