We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Boobs speak an international language.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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