I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize