I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
