It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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