i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
