I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
