She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
