Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wish you could order shots online.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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