Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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