Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
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Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize